“When you are born you put your identity in the people closest to you, your family. You are born with needs that are created to feed your soul that you may prosper on an emotional level. Those needs are love, nurturing, security, trust, acceptance, encouragement, affirmation, hope, worth, creativity, purpose, a sense of destiny and belonging. Mostly you do not receive all of those needs and your soul becomes shattered, and you call that rejection. Rejection is not always a matter of not being wanted, it is a matter of unmet needs. When this happens your identity gets hurt and the enemy comes with lies and you start to believe those lies to be the truth, behind that lie you will find fear and behind that fear you will find an idol. These are strongholds in your soul (mind, will, emotions, intellect). I don’t want you to put your identity in people. It is not about who you are or even about how people handle you because the enemy uses it to make you believe that you are someone that you actually are not. The enemy wants to steal your identity away from me.
Because of the unmet needs your love cup is empty and you will try to fill it with something. Search your heart, sometimes you bury the pain so deep in your heart that you think it is fine, or you are unaware of it. Who rejected you, who hurt you? Who left you feeling like you were cast out into the open field.
God says:- “I will meet you in that place and I will heal your hearts as you surrender it to Me, I will shine My light as you invite Me into the unmet needs in your heart. I will turn your attention to Me and you will see who I say you are, behold I will make all things new. It is not about who you are, it is about the fact that I call you Mine…
Everyone has pain somewhere, your pain was healed through My pain so allow Me to heal you. I know what rejection feels like, but it was well with My soul because I looked at My Father and asked Him to forgive them for they didn’t know what they were doing. They didn’t know who I really AM. Therefore do not let people’s rejection define who you are, don’t let it cling to your identity, because it is not who you are in ME!”
Make a list of the needs that are not met in your past and make peace with it. Forgive those that didn’t and or aren’t still filling those needs. Let God fill that unmet need.
For marriage:
Make a list of the needs that are not met by your fiancé/spouse and make peace with it, forgive him. He is not going to fulfil every need. Don’t let the feeling of rejection take over that leads to bitterness which brings unforgiveness and disunity. Accept them for who they are and be glad for the needs that they can meet but let God fill the other needs, or speak to your fiancé/spouse and let them know how they can maybe help fill that need but take heed they are just human they can fail – but God cannot fail! And wont!
With Love
Liesel